Thursday, July 1, 2010

Top 30 excuses to use for your "Planned Sick Days" #30:Conjunctivitis

Why 30?  I dunno, it's the hot number. You have 30 for 30, beer:30, 30-30 man. So, over the next few weeks, I'll profile 30 different diseases you can use when you find yourself absolutely in need of placing yourself on the couch all day.

Keep in mind I am in no way advocating an action that may lead to your unemployment. It's a tough job market out there so do so at your own risk. What is it that all the betting sites claim? Oh yeah, this information is for entertainment only. Or so I'm told.

One other note, I'm not a doctor. I have taken a Human Disease course once (although I crammed for the exam and forgot everything a week later). The object isn't to educate you to pass an exam, just bullshit a boss or significant other.

Okay, here we go. #30 on the list: Conjunctivitis

Otherwise known by its "street name," the pink eye.

Now this is a good disease to call in with. One can get pink eye from either a virus or bacterial infection. Or you can get pink eye from allergies and airborne irritants. It's highly contagious and is spread from person to person. Because the eyes are so itchy one tends to rub them a lot and can spread the virus via there hands.

In case you have to explain, some of the symptoms are itchy, watery, or a burning eye or eyes. There could be blurred vision. Be careful though, pink eye could be a result of an STD, like Chlamydia. You don't want the office whispering upon your return. Luckily, it most often occurs as a result of the same viruses that cause the common cold.

The good news is that it usually can be resolved within 2-5 days (or over a weekend, cough, cough).

You may want to wear some sunglasses the day you proclaim yourself healed and head back to work, school, or life amongst people. Complain some about the bright lights and if you work with them, the brightness of the computer screen. Also make sure and complain about not being able to watch the big game (your poor eye bothered you so much you couldn't watch the TV).

If you would like to learn more so that you become an expert visit here. I'm only here to help.

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